- Lilly Ann- A creepy and devious girl
- Violet Marie- Lilly Ann's best friend and counterpart. Twins almost.
- Lavender K.- The principal. Terribly confused about "faults."
- DJ- A schizophrenic with multiple personalities.
Setting: Lavender K.'s office. In center stage there are three chairs. There is also one chair off to the side.
The Play:
(Lilly Ann, Violet Marie, and DJ are in the audience sitting in a cluster. Lavender K. is on stage looking very official with a piece of paper in her hand.)
Lavender K.: I need to see Lilly Ann, Violet Marie, and DJ in my office IMMEDIATELY!!
(All three walk on stage. Lilly Ann and Violet Marie walk side by side smirking. DJ walks behind them cowering.)
Lavender K.: Alright kids, (pulls up a chair), Why did you do it?
Lilly Ann and Violet Marie: What did we do? (Both cock their heads to the left and fold their hands)
DJ: (Macho-ing up) Yeah, woman? What did we do?
Lavender K: Oh, you KNOW what you did.(All three students hang their heads.)
Lilly Ann:(Starting to raise up her head.) Okay, we'll admit it.
Violet Marie: Yeah.(Now looks at Lavender K.) It was his fault! (Lilly Ann and Violet Marie point to DJ. DJ starts to say something, but is interrupted by Lavender K.)
Lavender K.: You know what you did had nothing to do with tennis!
DJ: We're playing tennis? (Gets happy) I'll go get my racket! (Starts to skip off stage)
Lavender K.: Sit down young man!
DJ:(Runs back to his seat.) I'M SORRY! (Sits down and starts fake crying.)
Lilly Ann: No, stupid! About-
Violet Marie: What we did!
Lavender K.: So you admit it!
DJ: Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
(Lilly Ann, Violet Marie, and Lavender K. all groan. Then all of a sudden, an earthquake happens. The chairs shake and the students panic. The students get undr their chairs for a brief moment. Mean while, Lavender K. just sits there like nothing happened. When the students emerge, the students see Lavender K. acting like nothing happened. They get ticked off.)
Lilly Ann and Violet Marie: You didn't feel that?!
Lavender K.: Feel what? It looked to me as though you three were just trying to avoid punishment!
DJ: Dude! The San Andres fault moved! It's the end of the world, man! 2012!
Lavender K.: Oh, (Crosses her arms and taps her foot), so now you have Mr. Andreas in on this, too?
Violet Marie: Ugh. No. He's talking about the-
Lilly Ann: San Andreas Fault Line.
Lavender K.: (Acting smart) I don't care if he can curse a blue streak!
DJ: (Now in his smart persona) Actually, going back on what the girls were saying they are right. A fault line happens when two rocks rub against each other proportional to the way they are separated. And if they are on a large scale, such as this, they can cause earthquakes.
Lavender K.: Don't mouth off to me!
DJ: Oh my... (Grumbles)
Lilly Ann:(In a loud whisper to Violet) Do you think she'll ever-?
Violet Marie: Get back on topic? Eventually.
Lavender K.: NO TALKING!
DJ: What, Lavender?
Lavender K.: Uh, excuse me? It's Principal L. K. to you.
Lilly Ann and Violet Marie: Oh, (both grinning from ear to ear) so you didn't want the student population knowing your full name is Lavender Kellnooshka?(All three students high five each other.)
Lavender K.: That is it! A week of I.S.S. for all of you!
DJ:(Incredulously) But I didn;t do anything wrong! It's all their faults! (Points to Lilly Ann and Violet Marie.)
Lavender K.: No one ever told me about the Alt Heir Faults! Uh oh! (Halfway yells) EARTHQUAKE! AGAIN!
(Lavender K. Dives under a chair. Alarmed at the word, earthquake, DJ does the same. After a few seconds, Lilly Ann and Violet Marie coax DJ out from under the chair. They leave Lavender under her chair.)
Lilly Ann and Violet Marie: Nice!
Violet Marie: How'd you come up with that-?
Lilly Ann: So fast?
DJ:(Bewildered) What did I do?
Lilly Ann and Violet Marie: You- oh forget it!
Lilly Ann: So is anyone up for some-?
Violet Marie: Tennis? Yeah!
DJ: Game on! But that wasn't my fault last time!
Lilly Ann and Violet Marie: Oh gosh! (All three exit stage left.)
